The Booty Conspiracy

Booty Teeth

That’s right. All of this twerking bullshit is not as innocent as Miley Cyrus and pop music would have you believe. Our psyches are being subjected to a controlled invasion that aims to normalize the practice of Satanic Sex Magick in popular culture. Don’t believe me? That’s fine. I have trouble believing myself.

This is what I’m talking about: BOOTY

Did you click the BOOTY? Well you shouldn’t because that video wants you to unwittingly practice Satanic worship. And that’s just one of many. The Booty Conspiracy is only gaining momentum.

Booty has been a staple of pop music since as long as I can remember. Sir Mixalot’s “I Like Big Butts” introduced me to the concept of the ass mountain at the impressionable age of six. I remember being so confused, wondering why a guy would like butts so much. For the next twenty some years, the fixation of pop music with booty was consistent enough to become commonplace. Little did we know, there was a time bomb ticking and it was all thanks to this ASSHOLE.

That’s right. If you didn’t click the ASSHOLE I’m proud of you. It would have only added one more view to an abomination that fuels this conspiracy.

Billy Ray Cyrus has one song that an awful lot of people like for a while but then soon wise up and realize it makes them want to commit murder. On themselves. And so he has kids and uses his connections to inject them into the evil mind control machine better known as Disney.

Back to Miley Cyrus. What better way to introduce children to the TWERK than to have their Disney Channel role model smear it in their faces?

So Miley flaunts her new found adulthood while Robin Thicke is fucked up on VICODIN, singing a song about his DICK that Pharrell wrote for him. If you didn’t know, D stands for dick.

There are two things they want you to know: Miley Cyrus shakes her ass and Robin Thicke is a dickhead. That’s when we have the 2013 VMA performance where they simulate the obvious conclusion to those two concepts while awkwardly mismatched on stage.

Their VMA performance is the Satanic mega ritual that imprinted a dormant curse on the collective consciousness of American culture. With their simulation of sex, Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke became the torchbearers of the conspiracy that is right now attempting to turn you into a vehicle for Satan’s master plan.

So there’s THIS GUY and you could listen to him talk but it gets weird. His video entitled “Satan Loves Anal Sex” basically says that anal sex creates a gateway for demons to enter and possess human beings. This is a practice used by Aleister Crowley, the renowned Satanist that came up with the “Do what thou wilt” philosophy that Jay Z wears on his hoody. He was known in the press at his time as the “Wickedest Man In History”. He saw himself as the “Great Beast 666”.

Obvious, right? So the religion of Satanism is practiced by creating a gateway for demons to enter people via sodomy.

So it would only make sense then to have the cast of Glee twerking. This is now so normal we have videos like Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” and Jennifer Lopez’s “Booty”. Even the seemingly innocent Taylor Swift crawls under the legs of ass shaking dancers in her video for “Shake It Off”. That goddamn “All About the Bass” song is even more guilty of consort with this conspiracy when Meghan Trainor says, “But I can shake it, shake it, like I’m supposed to do.”

This SHIT is now supposed to empower women with low self esteem. All this song does is reinforce the fucked up concept that women need to be sexually deviant in order to do what they are “supposed to do.”

The message is clear: Use your booty because you’re supposed to.

In conclusion, Satan wants you to practice sodomy so he can make a demon gateway into your body to take your soul. The real purpose behind these pop songs is to lube you up for demonic soul rape.

Beware!

You are being conditioned and programmed into undergoing an induction into Satan’s alliance of asshole demon portals. Blind and deafen your children. It’s the only way to keep them safe from the evils of The Booty Conspiracy.

Sin-seriously,

Jeremiah

… …

But then again, maybe it’s not a conspiracy. Maybe this is all just a coincidence. Maybe THIS SHIT is actually good advice to be giving teen’s about ways to avoid getting pregnant. I don’t know. Actually, I don’t even really care. People are gonna do what they want and THIS SHIT  has nothing to do with me anyway.