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SHIT SHOW

2023

It’s all gone batshit. A whole ass shit show. The world has spun one more clock tick toward its decimation and ever more bound, entertained and contently infuriated with anything oppositional to its perspective.

Where to start? The vaccine shitshow? The sexual identity nightmare? The enforced nurturing of parasites? Good fucking grief, the goddam burden of existence! Almost enough to bulldoze this life into whatever’s next if I weren’t so excited to see where this mad mess is going.

2033

Everyone is castrated. Brains are removed and replaced. People spend their days watching commercials inside their eye implants, clicking red notifications and opening emails just to close them. Politics and reality TV shows are now one in the same. Families don’t exist. You have a lot of AI friends. Doctors only practice euthanasia. You have no property. Even your internal organs don’t belong to you. There is no money anymore. Just gold stars and demerits. You don’t remember what it was like last year, let alone ten years ago. You are very, very happy.

2021

I only got the vaccine because my kids wanted to get it. I really didn’t care which side of the debate was right. It was a good decision because my job required it to hire me. I’m not dead and neither are my kids. I still think that satanic pedophiles run the world and that it’s absurd to believe that billionaires have anyone’s best interest in mind besides their own.

2018

I’m drunk at a concert trying to go into the woman’s bathroom with my now ex-girlfriend and when security tries to stop me, I’m yelling, “I’m a transwoman! I have rights!” They don’t take me seriously and I don’t put up much of a fight. I just like using the woman’s restroom so we can do our drugs together, but I’m fine with using the men’s and getting high alone.

2022

There’s a street preacher talking into a megaphone beneath a statue of Abraham Lincoln on a Chicago street corner. He’s talking about God and the devil and I lean up against a post to listen because I’m bored and I need conflict in my life. He eventually gets to abortion after I decline an offer for him to pray for me. I interrupt him, saying, “But people should have the right to remove parasites from their own bodies.” He is very offended and goes on and on about how babies are not parasites and I’m just like, “No dude, they’re literally parasites. They can’t live without their host. Just because it’s human doesn’t mean women should be subject to their vampirism.”

2023

Depression isn’t a real thing if you can convince yourself it’s not. I don’t believe in depression anymore even though I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and put on medication that made me think that God and Satan were fighting over my soul. Now I don’t take medication and am still sad most of the time, but if I believe that it’s something that can’t be combatted, it’ll just encourage the victim mentality I’ve been trying to remove from myself.

The great news is that it’s only going to get worse every day! That means that right now is as good as it gets and it’s time to enjoy this second because each one after will suck a little bit more. How exciting?!

Buckle down and get your vices at the ready. You’ll need them for what’s to come. Whether that’s as exciting as your phone being attached to your forehead or as mundane as chemically induced compliance through government enforced medicine, we’ll just have to keep the popcorn coming and make sure our catheters are secured as comfortably as possible.

Sin Seriously,
Jeremiah Israel

Conspiracy

The 4 Conspiracy Posts I Resolutioned Myself Out of Writing

 

I was trying to write another Conspiracy post but I’m sick of it. Conspiracy is tiring. I got other shit to do. I like these pictures though and I’ll give you at least a snapshot of the conspiracy bullshit that may or definitely isn’t true.

The Beast Conspiracy

BeastYellO

The Antichrist is coming and blah blah blah shit and shit. Anyway, the Mark of the Beast is in your cellphone and the Antichrist is an alien.

The Bitch Conspiracy

Tongue

Just watch this lame ass video trying to make recent domestic terrorist attacks by young white kids on antidepressants into an issue of  boys not being able to express their feelings. Oh and crying happens too. Weird.

The Blank Conspiracy

Ears

Your mind is shooting blanks because everything is making you stupid. Fluoride, GMOs, and especially the television. We are all bewitched by brain-eating medicines. We are all under the hypnosis of the moving pictures. Earth is just a petri-dish of dumb souls waiting to be harvested. There was more but I’m drawing a blank.
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The Bogus Conspiracy

Eye

Last and probably least, Conspiracy culture is so full of shit. I’ve been running myself mad watching and re-watching contradictory conspiracy theories in YouTube videos. There’s a lot of crazy shit out there and crazy is exactly what you become when you spend all your time learning about how celebrities eat poo as a part of Satan worship, or about how Anton Lavey, founder of the Church of Satan, castrated his son for not following in his footsteps and is still alive today. Magicians are really just summoning demon spirits to do their tricks for them. Eminem has been dead for a while and is replaced by a robo-humanoid clone.

Miley’s under mind control, Obama is the Antichrist and aliens are really fallen angels working for the devil.

I need a break from this conspiracy shit. This isn’t really a resolution as much as it is a way for me to do, as half-assed as possible, the last four conspiracy blogs I had already planned.

I intentionally didn’t use any links for the conspiracy theories above. They’re a never-ending rabbit hole that’ll make you feel like you’re falling even though you aren’t going anywhere.

Good luck and happy fucking New Year motherfuckers. 2015 doesn’t hate you yet and everything might just turn out alright. Of course, when it doesn’t and you’re stuck in a bunker starving with your family all without food, just remember that eating people is an asshole thing to do.

Also, if you’ve read this than why the fuck haven’t you read March the Damned yet?

Sin seriously,

Jeremiah Israel

Conspiracy

The Blood Conspiracy

Blood Hands

If you asked people what the main religion of the United States is the majority would say Christian. Every president to date has claimed to be a Christian. The vast majority of politicians say the same. This couldn’t be further from the truth. True Christianity wouldn’t rationalize away mass murder and debauchery. No, that’s Vampirism and America is hands down the most blood thirsty nation in the world.

Jared Leto recently posted on his Instagram a picture of himself from 2004 beside a picture of himself in 2014. The older picture admittedly looks younger and healthier. The only caption to this picture was two words: Human blood. And yeah, I follow Jared Leto on Instagram.

image

Did you know that young blood is the fountain of youth? Yeah, you can totally live forever as long as you start drinking the blood of young people. Or at least that’s what the News wants you to believe.

The list goes on and on of celebrities using human blood in one way or another. Lady Gaga bathed in a tub full of blood as reported by the housecleaning staff of the hotel she was staying in. Kim Kardashian has had blood facials. Ke$ha is always doing something with blood or piss.

keshablood My favorite website hollywoodilluminati.com has long told the narrative of celebrities practicing blood drinking rituals and human sacrifices. Jennifer Lopez sacrifices virgins. Jodie Foster drank Kristen Stewart’s period blood. The list goes on. Even the Red Cross is being used as a way to farm blood from the masses and feed it to the elite class of celebrity vampires.

Unfortunately, the website was taken down and is still not up. I call conspiracy on that shit.

The first two words of my novel March The Damned are “Fuck vampires.” I mean that even outside the fictional context. A vampire wouldn’t call themselves a vampire. I’m well aware of the Vampire community and no, these people are not vampires. Vampires are parasites that use and end the lives of others to benefit themselves and their selfish desire for eternal life. They prey on the weak because they themselves are afraid of their own weaknesses.

image
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So yeah, fuck vampires. Fuck anyone that’s going to worship themselves and their own parasitic life above anything else. By that definition, probably all presidents have been vampires. All celebrities, sports stars and corporate heads are vampires. That asshole that gave you shit in school: vampire. That dick you let borrow money to that you’ll never see again: vampire. That lying bitch that smiles to your face while shitting on you behind your back: vampire.

Or maybe not. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about and maybe these are just coincidences that don’t actually point to any kind of blood drinking conspiracy. Maybe, but then I’ll leave it up to you to rationalize away the fact that George W. Bush is a descendant of the most famous vampire that ever lived.

Conspiracy?

http://youtu.be/DsHKp1H4m-A

… …

DISCLAIMERS:

+I’m not a Christian.
+The above is all bullshit.
+My blood tastes bad.
+Please don’t kill me.
+Read my book.
+Fuck vampires.

Conspiracy

The Booty Conspiracy

Booty Teeth

That’s right. All of this twerking bullshit is not as innocent as Miley Cyrus and pop music would have you believe. Our psyches are being subjected to a controlled invasion that aims to normalize the practice of Satanic Sex Magick in popular culture. Don’t believe me? That’s fine. I have trouble believing myself.

This is what I’m talking about: BOOTY

Did you click the BOOTY? Well you shouldn’t because that video wants you to unwittingly practice Satanic worship. And that’s just one of many. The Booty Conspiracy is only gaining momentum.

Booty has been a staple of pop music since as long as I can remember. Sir Mixalot’s “I Like Big Butts” introduced me to the concept of the ass mountain at the impressionable age of six. I remember being so confused, wondering why a guy would like butts so much. For the next twenty some years, the fixation of pop music with booty was consistent enough to become commonplace. Little did we know, there was a time bomb ticking and it was all thanks to this ASSHOLE.

That’s right. If you didn’t click the ASSHOLE I’m proud of you. It would have only added one more view to an abomination that fuels this conspiracy.

Billy Ray Cyrus has one song that an awful lot of people like for a while but then soon wise up and realize it makes them want to commit murder. On themselves. And so he has kids and uses his connections to inject them into the evil mind control machine better known as Disney.

Back to Miley Cyrus. What better way to introduce children to the TWERK than to have their Disney Channel role model smear it in their faces?

So Miley flaunts her new found adulthood while Robin Thicke is fucked up on VICODIN, singing a song about his DICK that Pharrell wrote for him. If you didn’t know, D stands for dick.

There are two things they want you to know: Miley Cyrus shakes her ass and Robin Thicke is a dickhead. That’s when we have the 2013 VMA performance where they simulate the obvious conclusion to those two concepts while awkwardly mismatched on stage.

Their VMA performance is the Satanic mega ritual that imprinted a dormant curse on the collective consciousness of American culture. With their simulation of sex, Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke became the torchbearers of the conspiracy that is right now attempting to turn you into a vehicle for Satan’s master plan.

So there’s THIS GUY and you could listen to him talk but it gets weird. His video entitled “Satan Loves Anal Sex” basically says that anal sex creates a gateway for demons to enter and possess human beings. This is a practice used by Aleister Crowley, the renowned Satanist that came up with the “Do what thou wilt” philosophy that Jay Z wears on his hoody. He was known in the press at his time as the “Wickedest Man In History”. He saw himself as the “Great Beast 666”.
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Obvious, right? So the religion of Satanism is practiced by creating a gateway for demons to enter people via sodomy.

So it would only make sense then to have the cast of Glee twerking. This is now so normal we have videos like Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” and Jennifer Lopez’s “Booty”. Even the seemingly innocent Taylor Swift crawls under the legs of ass shaking dancers in her video for “Shake It Off”. That goddamn “All About the Bass” song is even more guilty of consort with this conspiracy when Meghan Trainor says, “But I can shake it, shake it, like I’m supposed to do.”

This SHIT is now supposed to empower women with low self esteem. All this song does is reinforce the fucked up concept that women need to be sexually deviant in order to do what they are “supposed to do.”

The message is clear: Use your booty because you’re supposed to.

In conclusion, Satan wants you to practice sodomy so he can make a demon gateway into your body to take your soul. The real purpose behind these pop songs is to lube you up for demonic soul rape.

Beware!

You are being conditioned and programmed into undergoing an induction into Satan’s alliance of asshole demon portals. Blind and deafen your children. It’s the only way to keep them safe from the evils of The Booty Conspiracy.

Sin-seriously,

Jeremiah

… …

But then again, maybe it’s not a conspiracy. Maybe this is all just a coincidence. Maybe THIS SHIT is actually good advice to be giving teen’s about ways to avoid getting pregnant. I don’t know. Actually, I don’t even really care. People are gonna do what they want and THIS SHIT  has nothing to do with me anyway.

Inopinum

The Beetle 001

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The Beetle

The following is an excerpt from Book 2 of LIVEONNOEVIL entitled FURNITURE:

In time all your questions will be answered, Blue assured him from beneath his hat. Backpack could feel the beetle’s feelers against his scalp. They emitted slight waves of response that tickled his brain sending images and words in electric flashes.

Faster, Blue urged him. Do not think of your body. The pain is outside you. You exist only in your mind.

Backpack pushed through the discomfort. The pain in his side was sharp and didn’t fade until he ran up the stairs to his bedroom. With all his might he pushed his dresser in front of his door and then removed his hat and carefully picked the beetle from his scalp, placing him softly onto his bedding.

“Okay,” said Backpack. “I’m ready.” He focused on his breathing and willed his heart to slow.

You have many questions, but you must learn to accept them unanswered until you are truly ready.

The beetle vibrated as Blue spoke and currents of blue energy sparkled over its shell.

“I will,” said Backpack.

And that is why I have chosen you. Because you are willing.

Backpack nodded solemnly.

In order to understand what you are about to see you must give me your faith, solely and completely. Do you agree?

“Yes,” said Backpack.

You will experience terrible pain, but you must trust in me. There is no pain I haven’t experienced and I only ask what I know you capable of bearing.

“I trust you.”

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He did and the beetle rose above him with a vibrant electric fluttering of his wings.

Now clear your mind and open your mouth. Submit to me as I possess your earthly body. Be prepared, for what you see will change the course of events to come.

Backpack gulped. He closed his eyes and felt the tickle of the beetle’s feelers as he parted his lips. It stepped onto his tongue and the taste, distinctly metallic yet sour, faded as the beetle crawled further. It squeezed passed his uvula and he couldn’t help gagging. It pulled itself deeper, the intrusion was thoroughly invasive and he went stiff, thinking of himself like stone. Strong and unaffected.

The pincers were needle stabs inside him and it pushed its way passed his larynx and down his esophagus until it disappeared into his stomach. Relief lasted only a moment before he could feel his insides swimming in a whirlpool. He gasped in agony as it accelerated and then it wasn’t just his stomach, but his entire body. He clenched his eyes and squeezed his teeth, the spinning so fast he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Ringing in his ears rose until he was deaf. His mind pleaded to Blue, but then it was over and he was standing on his feet.

“Open your eyes,” his ears heard. He did and nearly burst into tears as he saw Blue, himself, just as he remembered him, standing before him.

He lunged forward and hugged him tight, feeling relief and security in the silence. “I’ve missed you,” said Backpack. He let go of the embrace reluctantly and Blue bent down to stare at him on eye level.

“I’ve brought you here to show you something very important about this world, but first you must understand, where we are is very dangerous.”

“Where?”

“I will answer only this question and once I do you must not ask anymore until we return. So little as a whisper could alter as much as a mountain.”

Backpack nodded, ashamed of his eager tongue and afraid to even swallow.

“We are in the past.”

Blue stood up and turned his body from him and for the first time Backpack noticed they were surrounded in nothingness. All he could see was himself and Blue. There was no dark, there was no light. Only them within an anti-mass of an empty eternity. The void.

“For example,” said Blue as he reached into empty space and grabbed it like a curtain, peeling it back. Blue held it open to the side and waved his hand to beckon him in.

Backpack walked right up to see between and recognized it immediately. It was him, asleep in his bed.

“And no, this isn’t a dream,” said Blue and disappeared behind the curtain as Backpack stepped into his own bedroom.