2023
It’s all gone batshit. A whole ass shit show. The world has spun one more clock tick toward its decimation and ever more bound, entertained and contently infuriated with anything oppositional to its perspective.
Where to start? The vaccine shitshow? The sexual identity nightmare? The enforced nurturing of parasites? Good fucking grief, the goddam burden of existence! Almost enough to bulldoze this life into whatever’s next if I weren’t so excited to see where this mad mess is going.
2033
Everyone is castrated. Brains are removed and replaced. People spend their days watching commercials inside their eye implants, clicking red notifications and opening emails just to close them. Politics and reality TV shows are now one in the same. Families don’t exist. You have a lot of AI friends. Doctors only practice euthanasia. You have no property. Even your internal organs don’t belong to you. There is no money anymore. Just gold stars and demerits. You don’t remember what it was like last year, let alone ten years ago. You are very, very happy.
2021
I only got the vaccine because my kids wanted to get it. I really didn’t care which side of the debate was right. It was a good decision because my job required it to hire me. I’m not dead and neither are my kids. I still think that satanic pedophiles run the world and that it’s absurd to believe that billionaires have anyone’s best interest in mind besides their own.
2018
I’m drunk at a concert trying to go into the woman’s bathroom with my now ex-girlfriend and when security tries to stop me, I’m yelling, “I’m a transwoman! I have rights!” They don’t take me seriously and I don’t put up much of a fight. I just like using the woman’s restroom so we can do our drugs together, but I’m fine with using the men’s and getting high alone.
2022
There’s a street preacher talking into a megaphone beneath a statue of Abraham Lincoln on a Chicago street corner. He’s talking about God and the devil and I lean up against a post to listen because I’m bored and I need conflict in my life. He eventually gets to abortion after I decline an offer for him to pray for me. I interrupt him, saying, “But people should have the right to remove parasites from their own bodies.” He is very offended and goes on and on about how babies are not parasites and I’m just like, “No dude, they’re literally parasites. They can’t live without their host. Just because it’s human doesn’t mean women should be subject to their vampirism.”
2023
Depression isn’t a real thing if you can convince yourself it’s not. I don’t believe in depression anymore even though I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and put on medication that made me think that God and Satan were fighting over my soul. Now I don’t take medication and am still sad most of the time, but if I believe that it’s something that can’t be combatted, it’ll just encourage the victim mentality I’ve been trying to remove from myself.
The great news is that it’s only going to get worse every day! That means that right now is as good as it gets and it’s time to enjoy this second because each one after will suck a little bit more. How exciting?!
Buckle down and get your vices at the ready. You’ll need them for what’s to come. Whether that’s as exciting as your phone being attached to your forehead or as mundane as chemically induced compliance through government enforced medicine, we’ll just have to keep the popcorn coming and make sure our catheters are secured as comfortably as possible.
Sin Seriously,
Jeremiah Israel